As I have said, the quotes need to be better introduced to be trusted. Furthermore, in quotes need more explained. In one part of the essay she writes, “Louise Beuchert, Maria Humlum, and Rune Vejlin conducted a study,” and then goes on to tell of the results of that study. However, the readers are left clueless as to what the study was. Including the results was a good choice because they tell of beneficial effects of avoiding the glass ceiling effect, but showing what the study was and how it was conducted would strengthen the argument. Another way that the argument could be strengthened is to use more sources. There are presently only 6, and having more would improve the author’s
As I have said, the quotes need to be better introduced to be trusted. Furthermore, in quotes need more explained. In one part of the essay she writes, “Louise Beuchert, Maria Humlum, and Rune Vejlin conducted a study,” and then goes on to tell of the results of that study. However, the readers are left clueless as to what the study was. Including the results was a good choice because they tell of beneficial effects of avoiding the glass ceiling effect, but showing what the study was and how it was conducted would strengthen the argument. Another way that the argument could be strengthened is to use more sources. There are presently only 6, and having more would improve the author’s